Each of us has boundaries. The boundaries of the physical body and personal boundaries that determine the distance in communication and the ability to distinguish one's opinion from someone else's, the ability to understand one's desires and say "no". All people have different permeability of this boundary. Teenagers are especially vulnerable, their boundaries are often thinned, because the main need of this age is to be recognized and accepted in a significant group.
And in order to stay among "his own", a teenager succumbs to someone else's influence and does not know how to say "stop" in time, becoming a slave, risking getting into dangerous situations. Thus, erasing personal boundaries, ceasing to understand what he really wants.
Weak boundaries manifest:
- when a teenager can't refuse,
- always agrees with everything and strives to be comfortable,
- openly shares personal information even with unfamiliar people,
- takes responsibility for the feelings of others,
- an acute sense of guilt,
- the fear of expressing one's opinion,
- allows for rude treatment,
- he thinks he deserves a bad attitude,
- goes to any lengths to avoid conflict,
- stands or sits too close to others,
- allows you to sit close to yourself, even if you don't want to.
Such teenagers are at risk of falling into the zone of dependent and antisocial behavior, following the leaders of such companies.
The other extreme is excessive isolation and closeness. Such children, often because of the fear of being rejected or having a negative experience, move away and lock themselves in.
Their borders become so thick that it is difficult for them to build communications:
- their main answer for any offer is "no",
- they almost never talk about themselves,
- few friends, it's hard to make acquaintances,
- don't ask for help,
- don't know their needs,
- they don't let you touch them.
In our classes on the topic "Borders", we tell the children about what they are and what they are. We pass tests that help children learn new things about themselves.
And of course, we do exercises that
* Help teenagers build healthy boundaries!
* They teach you to say "STOP" in time
* Understand at what distance they are comfortable interacting
* RESPECT yourself and the boundaries OF OTHERS.
And what can WE, adults, parents, teachers, do to help children build healthy boundaries?
We will discuss this in the next article